1. went to the gym today. they have vending machines now full of chips, candy and monster energy drinks. way to encourage the resolutioners gold’s gym!

2. didn’t get any REM sleep last night, sara either. this kid better shape up and fly right.

3. in november, when our re-elected republican governor is making his celebration speech, with our burning forests in the background, wildly urinating on a stack of text books, we’ll still look at each other and say, “at least he’s better than the other guys…”

4. i’m really tired of inane companies trying to get me to follow them on facebook. chad “likes” charmin toilet paper, kmart, land o lakes butter, and visine eye drops!

5. i accidentally bought fat free pretzels, i’m pretty sure they won’t even compost.